Eyes Wide Shut

Today has been a day of listening. Of opening my ears as well as my eyes. The tinkle trinkle of the bicycles, fearlessly fighting the low rumble tumble of the traffic. These shrills jumped into one ear bounced around and then spilled out of the other. The rolling lullullulll of the marching bells of the rickshaws. The tin tin tin of the woman's steel dish, who everyday lays outside of Park Street metro station, relentlessness tapping her plate on the pavement. A tin tin tin which seemed to vibrate through the rubber of my sandals, into my bones to releases the DING of a falling coin from my palm. “Newspaper Madam?, Taxi Madam?” Boooom. A horn. Whooosh. Booooom. Beeeeeep. Whooosh. Ting! Tinkle Trinkle. The Tap Tap Tap of a distant carpenter. “Hindu Temple Madam? This way! Hindu Temple.” “Indian Game? Indian Game?” Beeeeep. Whooosh.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I learned so much today that the street sounds are still mixing with the silent words of my thoughts, creating a monsoon in my head. The words are going crazy because they have no release. Their impact is resonating between my ears, catching the sounds and compounding one another. I am unable to write these words because you are unable to read them. You are unable to read them because the street on which I stay is not at all what it appears to those who pass through. Because eyes are not enough and once the ears hear, the mouth is requested to remain silent. The typing fingers still. And once asked, ethics become an issue. And once SPEAKING OUT is viewed as unethical in another mind, mine needs to ask Why?

How can a solution to the destitute be found beyond the relief of the days hunger? How can the work of volunteers do more than just bridge the gap between the social and the political if it remains invisible? What I do know is that nothing is as first as it my seem, and because of that I now need to respect my status as 'visitor'; as observer and more relevantly as an 'outsider'. Until this changes, or until I find explanations some words will have to remain 'hidden.'

But there are also some things which today have been explained.

Now I do understand that there is a reason why we are asked not to show affection to the street children. Because countries care more of image rather than of Justice. Because money can buy Rights. Because this world is fucked up and because I can not not be angry.