Baby Vision

The orphanage is pretty much the same. Two children have died from phenomena while their spaces have been filled with beautiful babies from the nursery one floor below. One of them is little Meta – the little blind baby I feel in love with a year ago. As a baby she was a natural yogini – legs and arms everywhere, but the most striking characteristic was her continuous smiling and laughing. She's grown taller, but is so skinny. Her body is still bendy, but her neck seems to fall back all the time, as she hits it on her chair, and leaves it there. She cries continuously, until she is held in your arms, and then she is still; just listening to your breath. Changing her clothes is hilarious. She loves to be touched and tickled, and giggles uncontrollably as I tickle her skinny legs and little baby belly. She particularly loves having her belly button tickled, which seems incredibly sensitive; I guess it wasn't so long ago that she was still connected to the mother that she still sheds the tears for. She is incredibly gentle, and quietly sits (or softly cries) until someone cares to feed her or change her. It is incredible how the characters of each child is expressed despite their ages, inability to talk, or move. She reminds me of Deepa – and not just because she was born without eyes – but because of her passivity and quiet confusion. Seeing Deepa's stinted development is all the more reason why it is so important to find a 'solution' to find a way to assist her to learn to speak and fight her way through this world; lessons learned which may make the journey for this next little baby a little smoother. But she is not the only one.

Next to her sits Nitu. Who is adorable. Totally. But her attitude is completely different. Her lack of vision seems to mean nothing to her. She is a real fighter and super smart. She is smaller than Meta but probably the same age – around one and a half (even though their folders say they are three and two respectively). She wants to learn and if she isn't finding the stimulus she will yell until she gets it. The power of her shouts reflect her frustration. She takes a deep inhalation and then pours our a 'Ahhhhh'. Unlike Meta, it isn't a cry of misery, but for attention. And what a successful technique! Within minutes she has someone in front of her, watching the Queen of the babies, and following her orders. I am no exception, and happily follow her demands for different sounds and songs, as she quickly repeats and giggles. 'La La La' is too easy for her, and soon we are 'rrrrrrrrrr' – ing and 'zzzzzzzz ZA!'-ing. I try singing 'twinkle twinkle little star' as she lifts herself off the padded chair and bumps back down with total uncontrollable excitement. Sporadically she throws her arms out to the sides and searches for Meta's still fluffy baby hair which she yanks with all the power of her little fists. Meta just sits quietly. Unsure of what is happening or how to react. Eager to preserve the little hair Meta has managed to grow, I turn my attention to her chair and move it slightly away from her incredibly stimulated neighbour. I guess most babies have no control over their movements, as parents and carers pick them up and deposit them at will, but the lack of vision that these babies have must make it all the more frustrating. However, Meta seems pacified by my continuing rendition of 'twinkle twinkle'. I feel like I have just seen a ghost – or rather heard one. Queen Nitu is bubbling a stream of 'little stars' – now for a blind baby whose first language should be Bengali and who apparently has still yet to speak her first word, this is AMAZING. So, amazed and with a smile from ear to ear, I struggle with the simultaneous feelings of frustration as I think that four years further down the verbal development line, Deepa is still struggling with basic sounds.

Meanwhile, I am caught in a ridiculous predicament. I have as yet avoided introducing myself to the new Sister in charge. Following warnings from Climber Woman, I decided not highlight the specific attention which I am dedicating to Deepa. However, I desperately want to ask about any potential speech therapy training. I have heard from another long term volunteer that this winter has put many of the children in hospital which has been an unexpected drain on the Shishu Bhavan funds. This apparent unexpected drain has meant a re-allocation of money from the weekly speech therapy tuition to the weekly physiotherapy sessions. I am in no position to question the use of the Missionaries of Charities funds, although this cutback surprises me, as they are one of the wealthiest charities in Kolkata. I'd love to offer paying for a speech therapist, but predict that my offer will be seen as interfering.

I want these beautiful blind girls to have the opportunities to learn to speak, to learn life skills that will enable them to facilitate a future for themselves. For them to be able to feed themselves, to go to the toilet, to communicate fully with those around them, so that they can understand where they are and made sense of all the craziness – inside and outside of the orphanage. I want them to have a life – despite not having eyes. Once again, I want to know – how can I help more?