Voices of Angels

Today I gave the Sister a cd from an Angel. I would have done it before but I was told the orphanage did not have a cd player only a tape player. I guess its another reminder that the truth is never what it first appears. Anyway, when a message really needs to be sent, it will find a way; despite the hidden obstacles, and this morning the voice of an Angel found its way across the ocean from the beautiful island of Bali into chaos of screams and shouts of Sishu Bhavan.

During my time in Bali I was blessed to cross paths with truly beautiful beings. Those who were generous and loving, wise and truthful. While I was exploring the direction to take – between living my life to fulfill my dreams, and fighting for the dreams of others to be freed, I began teaching Blindfold Yoga. Now it sounds pretty crazy when I attempt to explain to other volunteers who are working at the orphanage that I was trying to share Deepa's experience with others – after all how do I know what she experiences? Apart from the frustration which at times she screams out, flinging her body around the nursery, not caring if she hits the walls, or if she finds the metal bars of a bed – biting down hard, but it is extremely arrogant of me to imagine that I know what or how she feels. However, Deepa continues to teach me about our potential sensitivity to our world – to sounds and to touch, to communication without words, even though I still have no idea as to what she feels in response to her increased sensitivity. Through the Blindfold Yoga I wanted to try and share her courage by inviting people to experience life without sight – just for a couple of hours.

Indeed, everyday I continue to be astounded by Deepa's courage to trust to be guided, to climb, to play, to allow me to spin her around and around and to turn her upside down. During the blindfold yoga, music played an important part in guiding the participants through various emotions and experiences. Again this was a tribute to Deepa, as everyday I witness her response to sound and in particular to rhythm. During the workshops, an Angel volunteered to sing...while the participants were still blindfolded, she would lull them out of a yoga nidra, and into kirtan – a call and response singing. The 'response' was indeed incredibly powerful, with many people allowing their voice to awaken amidst the darkness, joining their previous isolation with the invisible beings around them, who they could not see but who could hear and feel the group energy and a group voice sealed through sound. During the workshops the Angel would end with a song for Mother Teresa and for Deepa. I remember the power of her simple words as they were transformed into magic spells inhaled to evoke unexpected emotions. It was if the energy was travelling from the studio across the sea to the craziness of Kolkata and back again, bringing with it Deepa's power and beauty. It was as if Deepa was in the room with us, sharing her vision and gifting us with her formless presence.

Another reason why I had so persistently continued with the Blindfold Yoga was to try to somehow take the support and thoughts of all of the people I had met during my travels with me; to bring the power of solidarity from those who I had told about Deepa and who had learned a little from her courage and from her silent fight. Today I felt the reverse. As the voice of the Angel filled the nursery from the crackling hissing speakers, it was as if light and love had filled the room. Immediately tears moistened my eyes – proving that location is irrelevant and that music holds the key to unlock emotional memory, bringing a ghostly reaction beyond rational control. The Angel was singing a song for Mothers – for Mother Teresa – but it wasn't the words which were affecting me but the indescribable power which accompanied them. It was as if colour were flooding the room, calming the atmosphere, absorbing the breaths of pain and freeing stagnant imaginations.

Again, I have no idea what Deepa was thinking, but she was clearly listening. She stopped her movements and bowed her head forwards – as she always does when she hears a sound which interests her. I watched as she stopped all fidgeting, even with the three bracelets which she had been protectively cradling on her wrist all morning. The shrill dinging of the bell broke through the magic. Its vibrations were calling to the volunteers that the kettle of morning chai was waiting for consumption on the stairwell. It was impossible to leave Deepa. She was totally absorbed by the music. I thought back to the reaction of the Angel when she had first learned about Deepa. During her meditations she had visualised herself in Kolkata, singing. At other times the Angel told me she would practice blindfolded – opening her voice to a new heightened sensitivity. Now I listened as Deepa and the Angel spoke – one silently listening, receiving, as the other sang her – their - power.

For once I was thankful for the replay button, which played the cd about four or five times until ultimately Deepa was swaying and twirling and dancing feet-on top of feet with me. The Angel continued to share her wisdom as she sang to Deepa about the magnificence of the oceans. Even though Deepa has never felt the power of the sea, nor heard the energy of its waves, nor tasted the saltiness of its scent, perhaps it was the closest she has come to the water which separates her from all the wonderful support I know is singing and dancing - away from her sight. Now all that needs to happen to continue the link which has already been bonded, is for the Angel to visit the city of her dreams, and to sing for the children who live the legacy she was – for some reason – initially inspired to sing about.

I have a friend who beleives in Angels. She believes we are all surrounded by our Angels, and all we need to do is to speak to them when we need their help. They are always listening, and they are always with us. Even though we may feel incredibly isolated and alone in this World, our Angels are always dancing in our shadows, singing their words of wisdom which we just need to open our ears to hear. We are never alone.