Wow. What a roller coaster of internal emotions and temporary physical pain. I can now write this blog because finally my head is clear enough too. This in itself is disconcerting, because it reflects that in the past two weeks I was unable to think of anything other than myself. This is a state I do not like to be absorbed within in.
So for my sister, friends and doctors who I have never met but am so thankful for here is one final spurge of self absorption before I leave behind (insh'Allah) all thoughts of Lumps, bacteria, pus and pain. For anyone else, please bare with me and I promise that soon my writing will return to discussing far more important and interesting topics...
With the appearance of a second Lump, I began to become scared. The fallacy of living in a spiritual Indian oasis, was quickly replaced by the thought of what on earth I was doing here, or more rather what on earth would I do if I became very sick very quick? The absence of reliable accessible health care does not matter in times of health, but with the volatility and fragility of our bodies such a carefree mentality can disappear very quickly. Soon I began to hear horror stories of people dying overnight for lack of adequate medical treatment. Obviously I did not think that I was about to die from a Staphylococcus Aureus infection multiplying underneath of my arm, but I was scared of the thought of the infection spreading to other organs of my body.
I decided to consult the internet as a way of gaining reassurance that my treatment was correct. My sister replied with tales of septicaemia. While a welcome email from one of Magic Man's million doctor brother's told me that not only did I need a histogram, but that "TB was much more likely". Help!
Unreassured and scared I continued to trust the doctors at Delek hospital and the other voice in my head, which was Bruno, both of whom insisted that I had a Staphylococcus Aureus infection.
The new lump continued to grow, and with it came a new pain which danced around my chest and seeped through to my back. My entire left side was swollen and tender. I was even allergic to the medical tape used to stick the dressings over the wound. It was impossible to sleep, and with such a combination it meant that my mental strength quickly dissipated. I saw a second doctor at Delek hospital and I was told that my first set of antibiotics were no use to beat this spectrum of bacteria, and so I was put on a different set. The lump was too hard to be cut out, so I would just have to wait for the hard like a stone lump to rise to the surface.
Because the only result so far from visiting the Western hospital was a new wound and a new lump, I decided to give the Alternatives a second chance. I visited a recommended Tibetan doctor, and for the last seven days Dr Palden has stuck needles around the lump and at various incidences along the invisible connecting meridian. Consequently, I have had wobbling needles sticking out of my elbow, hand and even opposite knee, for fifteen minutes each day. Apparently my body is 'weak' (which I prefer to redefine as 'sensitive'), and this is why I can not tolerate more than such a short time of being a breathing pin cushion. Although this was not a pleasant experience it was not painful, more 'uncomfortable', as I waited for Dr Palden to find the appropriate meridian by wiggling the needle a little deeper into these various parts of my body. What was even more 'uncomfortable' was the compress of herbs which he continues to strap under my arm each day. The aim of the compress is to help the hard like stone Lump to mature – to become soft. The herbs apparently do this by producing a heat which grows in intensity as the day progresses, so that by the evening the burning has grown into a ball of fire, from which there was no escape unless I removed the compress – which I guilty did on two occasions.
Dr Palden's English is not great, but his knowledge of Tibetan medicine is clearly extensive – he trains monks, and this knowledge of traditional medicine has been in his family for as long as can be remembered. I asked him if he had a son, and if so was his son learning this ancient healing? His reply was that yes he does have a son, but at the age of four perhaps he will wait a few years before trying to pass on his knowledge. In fact I am not even sure if Palden is the Doctors first name or his surname, as in Tibet the order of the names are placed in the reverse. When I asked him if his first name was Palden or Tsering he just replied 'yes'. Anyway, Dr Palden Tsering's explanation for the new Lump was that the first Lump was cut before it was mature. Therefore the blood was still unclean, and the bacteria still needed to find a place to settle.. He warned that although he was strengthening the meridian in order to prevent a third Lump, if the second Lump was cut before it was mature, a recurrence was more or less guaranteed. This made me weary of the doctors at Delek hospital who kept 'offering' to cut it out. Another interesting explanation which Dr Palden shared was that both of The Lumps were on my heart meridian, which would explain the pains in my chest. The heart meridian also controls the emotion of Anger, and therefore I would now be feeling very 'angry'. Indeed, for the past two to three weeks this 'anger' has been steadily simmering along with the volcano.
Obviously hardly been able to lift my arm meant that my yoga practice was still on hold. However, as it was my left arm that was invaded, it meant that I could still hold a pen, so although I was unable to do any physical adjustments I could still attend the theory part of the Ashtanga Teacher Training course. Vijay was concerned. Firstly I had visited a Western doctor, taken Western antibiotics and had a Western operation. In his eyes – this was clearly interfering with my natural healing capacities (which in my eyes had clearly gone on holiday). He spent the beginning of the session philosophising on how everything had a cause – even if it was not obvious to our human understanding, which lead him on to karma and karma and karma. Message received – this was my bad karma, and there was nothing I could do about it apart from ride it out. However, Vijay does not like any living being to suffer, so despite my apparent unexplainable explainable cause of my own misery, he offered some healing. He told me not to tell anyone. So all I will tell you about his fifteen minutes of magic was that the Olympic Games was playing on the television, it was wrestling, and his assistant was forced to watch it in silence – apologies Balu.
To be Continued...
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